One does not simply have fun in Mordor

Song of the Day: Lord of the Rings Medley by Lindsey Stirling

I am sometimes nostalgic. Nostalgic of times I've only heard of. I'm sure they weren't as great as I picture them to be.
Yes, there was death at every corner, and disease and people could come and set fire to your village or slaughter your whole family. And lets not talk about discrimination.
But there were swords! And bows! And everyone wore leather! And people rode horses, not cars. And you could go on an adventure, like Bilbo did in The Hobbit, or Eragon in the Inheritance Cycle!
And people drank ale, not beer. Cider, not appletinis. Wine, not coke. They smoked pipes, not cigarettes.

If you asked me, where would you rather live: Lord of the Rings or Star Trek universe?
I'd say: Lord of the Rings, because in ST's alternate universe, Spock's taken. And in the other one, Kirk's dead, so...While in LOTR, I could have Legolas. Maybe...I picture Gimli and I, dueling for Legolas' heart. I'd win. Fuck you Gimli.
No, I'd rather be in Alagaesia. Then I could have a dragon best friend. And I'd finally get over my fear of heights. Hopefully.

Wait. Why wouldn't you want to be in your own books' world?
'Cause it sucks, that's why. Everyone's a dick there and there are no dragons whatsoever. So why would I want to go there?
Plus, you know how I feel about my book.

Wouldn't it be great if we could get inside video games? Problem solved. And if we died, we could resurrect at our last save point. Awesome, right?
No, you know what? All I want is my full set of Nightingale Armour and my Nightingale Bow from Skyrim, along with a few Ebony Arrows. No, wait. Daedric Arrows are better. I'll have both. Actually, I'll have my whole Skyrim inventory (that has a capacity of 7,000 - I'm a hoarder, I know) because I can't live without sweetrolls and jazbay grapes. And Auriel's Bow is so pretty. :)

Goodbye. I'm going on an adventure.