The 'nice' guy

Song of the Day: Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Suede

Note: I meant to write this for a while now, but I was too busy :/ Uni's been a pain in the ass lately, so I haven't had time to play a single video game since early September, much less write a post. 

We've all dreamed of meeting him ever since we watched our first Disney movie. He was tall, dark and handsome and sweet and caring and back then, getting a guy like that seemed easier than putting our clothes on on our own.
Fast forward to early adolescence, we saw him again in romcoms, as the adorable guy that secretly loves his best friend, who happens to be with a guy she doesn't deserve, but in the end, it all works out and they ride a unicorn into the sunset. It all seemed so believable back then, so incredibly naive that it's hard for me to grasp how foolish I was. But, part of being an adult is removing your rose-tinted glasses - going out into the world and finally seeing it for what it is; a piece of crap.
And so the 'nice guy' that also happens to be incredibly handsome trope lives on to the present day. You want to know what I think of that? It's bullshit. Finding a nice guy, even a not-so-attractive one, is like finding a four-leaf clover. Come on! you might say, it can't be that hard! But truth is, it is. It's still baffling to me how incredibly hard it is to find a guy that doesn't want just sex.

By now, you might be enraged. No, you're an idiot, you might think. You just like bad boys, it's your own fault.
No, actually, I'm not at all attracted to macho-type guys (well, apart from Dean Winchester, who's actually a big softie if you get to know him), in fact, they repulse me. No, I usually go for quiet, shy, sweet guys that seem to fit the 'nice guy' profile. Having a rather strong personality myself (which has nothing to do with me being an introvert), I prefer being around someone that doesn't overpower me, or threaten me, but rather, someone that is more...quiet is not quite the word I'm looking for, neither is submissive...I think what I mean to say is someone that listens to what I have to say (instead of being as loud and vocal as I am) and respects my opinions and doesn't feel the need to contradict them all the time (even though he might not agree with me). I'm looking for another introvert, someone that likes video games and watching tv and understands why I sometimes feel the need to hide from everyone in the dark, even for entire days, someone that gets why I'm overwhelmed by too much socialisation and doesn't mock me for being socially awkward. Basically, a descent human being, someone like me.

Is it so hard to find a descent human being? It seems so, yes. I honestly thought I had, and thought so for a whole year. And then, I realised that this person that I thought was so much like me, that listened to me ramble about things I liked and even remembered everything I told him days later, that person I thought had feelings for me, was an asshole. Which explains why he never asked me out, or anything. Apparently, I was just another girl he flirted with, which didn't bother me too much because I had no feelings whatsover towards him. What bothered me was that I considered this person a friend of mine and he really disappointed me with his patriarchal point of view and sexist remarks.

It seems that I've digressed a bit - hell, this is in no way an essay or anything, it's basically incoherent rambling. - what I mean to say is this: Don't ever compromise. It's true that 'nice guys' exist, but they're not as common as movies and tv will have you believe. You need to spend a lot of time alone, which can be very hard at times. And others will have boyfriends/girlfriends and that's probably going to hurt a lot, but you know what? Some of them have compromised and they're with someone that's not right for them, out of fear of being alone. There are no perfect people, but there are people that are perfect for us. We just haven't met them yet. We're in a planet of 7 billion people, so you can imagine how hard that is. Point is, you should never compromise. I'm not saying you should have a five page list of what you're looking for in a partner, what I'm saying is that when someone's right for you, you'll know it. Until then, all you can do is watch the Mindy Project and cry because Mindy Lahiri is so damn lucky.