(NOTE: It definitely contains spoilers of the game Portal )
How can I even be afraid of a video game character?
Is this possible?
Normal?
Sane?
Well, when a super hi-tech talking computer that was your guide through 18 test chambers and promises you cake is leading you to a burning oven, trying to convince you to jump in, after incinerating your only friend, a cube with pink hearts, it's only natural to be scared.
I think.
Her name is GLaDOS (I refer to her to the femine gender because she speaks with a female voice) and I think she hates me. Like, really really hates me.
"The Enrichment Centre is required to remind you that you will be baked and then, there will be cake".
At first, I didn't take that line seriously; I thought that 'baked' meant I might accidentally fall inside the acid that surrounds the solid areas in most test chambers. But my gut told me otherwise. Because there were warning signs everywhere. Saying, over and over:
"The cake is a lie".
I wondered why the previous Aperture test subjects would care to mention that, again and again.
Okay, I thought, maybe I won't eat cake at the end of the tests. That's not so bad.
I couldn't be more naive. I knew, right from the beginning that GLaDOS couldn't be trusted. But what happened was beyond every possible outcome that I could ever imagine. And to think I'm a writer.
It's my job to imagine things.
"Congratulations. The testing is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there's absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipement malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in this Aperture computer-aided enrichment activity. Goodbye".
Yes. GLaDOS's plan all along was to study me and then burn me alive.
So I did what every logical person that despises fire would do.
Escape.
I still had my portal gun in my hands and I could see a small room on top of the fire pit. And I thought:
What if I shoot a blue portal up there, then an orange one next to me, jump and try to land inside.
It's risky but since I'm going to die anyway, there's no harm in trying.
So I did it and I landed safely inside the room, away from the burning fire. GLaDOS didn't seem so happy though. And now they're after me. They're telling the the fire was the final test and I should wait until someone comes to take me to my cake. To celebrate my victory. No. I know a lie when I hear it. They're lying. She's lying. I'm a test subject, I'm a victim, I'm a toy at the hands of Aperture. And they're trying to capture me again. I don't know who they are, but I know they want to kill me. I won't let them, I'll run, I'll hide, I'll escape. I've got my portal gun and I'll escape. But how to escape when there's no escape?
Portal is the scariest game I've ever played. Honestly.
No darkspawn, no Reapers, no broodmothers, no husks, no marauders, collectors, bandits, templars, dragons, White Walkers, wargs or demons scare me.
Okay, husks maybe just a little. But GLaDOS, she gives me goosebumps. Of fear.
Because she's a computer trying to kill me inside a science lab.
She's monitoring my every move, she knows how I think, how I act, how I behave.
I'll keep playing Portal and Portal 2 and hope to stay alive to see the end.
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