Relationships are silly

I mean, why ever bother to be in a relationship, when there's so much to do and see out there!
I don't understand the rush of some people (mostly girls) to get in a relationship with the first 'cute' guy they meet, just to have something to brag about to their friends and on facebook.
Is this happiness? I think not.
I think this phenomenon's cause is mainly pressure from nowadays' society. A few decades back, you had to marry young, or you'd stay alone for the rest of your life; now, in 2013, when men and women are considered equal, the rules have changed just a little, you need to find a boyfriend, then another one, then another. You can't possibly be single for more than a few months - if you are you're a loser. And if you change guys like you change shirts, you're a slut.
We're part of a society and whether we like it or not, we're all labelled according to our actions. I'm personally against dating guy after guy, but each person can do as they please, as long as they don't hurt me.
To me, relationships are kind of silly. Most people never think about it too much before they engage into one and this is usually the reason for their short life span.
As women tend to be more sentimental than men, they feel the need to be in a relationship a lot more than they do. Let's face it; we all dream of the valiant raven/golden maned prince on his white horse riding towards our castle to our rescue. Well, I did.
And all these feelings get stronger and stronger as February approaches. Why? Because of that silly excuse of a commercial holiday that is Valentines Desperation Day. As Barney Stinson remarks quite wittily: "Every woman wants a date on Valentine's Day. That neediness reaches its climax - what up - on February 13th. A magical night, when a 10 has the self esteem of a 4, and the depraved enthusiasm of a 2".
Think about it. Why do you want a date on V-day so much? Maybe because fancy commercials, movies and tv told you that this is what you should do...that this is the ideal life?

To me, the ideal life is to be happy and respect yourself, not to sell yourself out. And if, for any reason, you don't feel comfortable with the fact of having a relationship, then don't - no biggie.
Commitment is serious and should not be taken lightheartedly. You don't want to hurt someone else, because what goes around, comes around and karma's a bitch. Personally, the few times I've felt I've hurt someone, I've always tried to somehow fix it and make up for it, even if it was inevitable and not my fault whatsoever.
I somehow feel responsible for people's feelings. But that's another topic for another day.
The moral of this post is to be yourself and never let anyone else to tell you how you should live your life.
You're not an elf, or a tree and you won't be here forever, so make sure you live with no regrets.

iTunes + learning how to edit

I just got into iTunes - yes, I know I'm late you hipsters, but hey, let me unfold the tale, like I know how.

In my previous computer account, because the path contained non-english characters, I had trouble installing 99% of .exe files, among which iTunes. It took me a little less than a year (yes, I know, embarrassing) to figure out what was going on. Eventually I did, made a new account and downloaded iTunes.

I'm so excited! The design is so polished and pretty...o.o

Apart from that, if you read my tweets, you'll have probably found out that ajfkvxsfl@*.* Amazon doesn't let me buy songs from them, so desperate as I was, I decided to try iTunes.

Surprisingly, it worked and yesterday I bought "Misty Mountains" from the soundtrack of "Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey". Oh, how much I love this song...

Anyway, today Paramore's "Now" came out and I HAD TO BUY IT!!!

I heard it on FueledbyRamen's YouTube channel and loved it instantly! Such inspiring and empowering lyrics and the music accompanying Hayley's voice...bravo Taylor and Jeremy!

So now I basically can't stop listening to it. This is the 6th repeat...

Moving to a different topic, I'm learning how to edit videos, so they'll look polished and nice, not sloppy, for my YouTube channel.

By the way you can find it on youtube.com/user/plusfivetodamage but it's empty for now.

I've done some serious planning (LOL) and there will be 5 different 'shows'. Serious business guys. 

A Clash of Things

It's impossible to be social.

Seriously, I don't know how people do it. 

As humans, we might look somewhat alike but our brains function in a completely different way. To me, there are two kinds of people; the ones you meet and instantly give you 'the look' (translation: shoo) and the ones who seem really nice and sweet. And no doubt, most sure are, but if there's one thing I know, that is:

Human relationships always lead to disaster.

Relationships are like Mordor, once you enter the territory, there's nothing but trouble ahead.

(note: I'm referring to friendship, not romantic relationships)

Nevertheless, humans hate being lonely; that's why they constantly seek the company of other apes.

Some prefer to socialise with members of the same sex, some with members of the opposite, and some with both.

In my case, I'm a girl (if you haven't noticed yet) and so I'll be describing everything from my perspective.

I've been around for almost two decades now and although I'm no sage, I've noticed quite a few times that girls can turn from angels to devils within seconds. Girl friendships never end well for me. Someone ends up backstabbing me by betraying my trust, sharing my secrets with everyone or simply dumping me because I wasn't a good enough friend for her. Girls usually try to undermine you, pull the rug from under your feet and destroy your life in any possible way if they think that you're more beautiful, charismatic, successful or popular than they are.

Women crave for attention and if one of their friends is stealing the spotlight, they won't hesitate to go all 'Littlefinger' on them.

Men on the other side, usually prove to be good friends. Like dogs, they're loyal, funny, a little inappropriate sometimes, but true friends. The thought of hurting you almost never crosses their mind, never mind plotting against you. They aren't picky and posh like most girls and can talk about video games and food for hours.

Guys prove to be a great company; they're funny, spontaneous and don't talk about their girlfriends/crushes 24/7 like most girls I know do.

So, what's the problem Opal? Why don't you just hang out with guys and problem solved?

Well. Don't ever expect them to understand certain parts of your life.

Don't mention the word period, because all they'll do is laugh and start acting immature, even if they're full grown adults. Don't mention the word make up; they'll say you look the same with or without it and leave you wondering if the mirror in your bathroom is somehow broken or enchanted, letting you see what you want to see. Worse, they'll say you look like a clown, 'cause they can be accidentally rude like that.

They probably won't understand your obsession with chocolate or your fangirl feels about Alistair or Legolas, or why it takes you so long to get ready, why you don't feel comfortable to burp in public or why you cry when you watch chic flicks and films with cute animals.

I might just have to accept that I'll never be one of aforementioned people.
And of course, I have friends, both girls and guys that are genuinely good people. But the meaning of all this is that it's not easy to forge a relationship with one or more people. You don't just meet someone and say "Hey, you wanna be friends?", because you're not 5 anymore.
The world has 6 billion people and you if you don't want to end up at the bottom of Mount Doom, keeping company to Smeagol, you better take things slow and be careful with you you trust; and who knows, you might just be able to achieve the impossible. Just saying.

My YouTube journey

After 7,211 tweets, 4+ years on Facebook, 124 posts on Tumblr and exploration of most social networks, I've decided to branch out to YouTube and show the world what a (insert positive adjective) person I am!

My YouTube journey will be (I hope) a weekly segment of my experience making videos such as Vlogs, Let's Plays, etc.

I don't know if people will like, or even notice me, because YouTube nowadays is as big as society itself.
Containing millions of videos and users, it's extremely easy to get lost and go unnoticed.
But, despite that, after thinking about it a lot and consuming huge amounts of chocolate, I've come to the conclusion that I do matter. And this is why I decided to become a part of this ever-growing community.

I won't lie; I'm not starting this journey without fear - but as I like to say, brave is the one who acknowledges and embraces fear, but doesn't give up.
Negativity is like an iron ball attached in your leg. It weights you down and eliminates your hopes, crushing them down.
When you let go of it, though, you get rewarded by a wonderful feeling; that of freedom.

I'll try to upload a video by the end of the week; shooting and editing takes quite a while.
Then if I get a few views and comments, I'll post my reaction here and I hope I get enough attention to be able to do this every week.

Walk the plank

It's hard to expose yourself to the world - to the millions who use the internet when you're as introvert and socially awkward as I am.
I'll say the truth...I don't like people. I don't like interacting with people, people I barely know or even worse, strangers. I always try to put on a brave face when I go out, but I fail miserably.
Every single time I go somewhere, people ask:
"Why are you so shy?", "Why are you so silent?".
My English teacher, a few years ago, even made the whole class - who by the way loathed me - to say loudly:
"Speak up".
Most embarrassing day of my life.

I'm pretty good at playing psychologist, so I'll try to analyse the situation here.
What am I afraid of?
Well, it's simple: judgement.
I want people to like me. I want them to think I'm amazing, funny, cool, smart, anything positive.
Just because I spent most of my life judged negatively - and to name a few examples, I was called: ugly, nerd, emo (I never was, I just had really long hair), zit-face -, I want to feel like I'm someone important now.
Problem is, I know the world is cruel and I'm afraid of mean and insulting comments or zero views.
What's worse that judgement is lack of attention. What if no one watches my videos? What if I'm not important to anyone?

These thoughts plague me and keep me back. I see others out there so effortlessly making videos without being especially attractive or having any special quality whatsoever and having thousands of views.
How?

Why aren't these people judged? Why do they have so many fans, that even send them gifts?
And most importantly, what do I lack?

Probably confidence. Not about my outer appearance, not anymore. It's about my personality.
That I'm not entertaining, funny or interesting enough for people to watch me.
I have no clue how to be like that. I know I have to do it, because I need to face that huge boss monster called world one day.
Other people act like it's no big deal but for me it is.
I've been receiving so much rejection through all these years at school - from elementary to high school - that I'm not sure I can be as confident as others are or pretend to be.
Me, I just love to shrink in a corner and stay silent.

What will it take for me to find the courage to let go of my fears and show the world who I really am?
Sure, it's better to express myself from the safety of my room, where no one can judge me and no one can hurt me.
But I ask myself: Do I really want that?
Or I simply prefer to do it so I won't have to expose myself to danger?

I've been through rough times, I've been abandoned, I've been bullied, I've been alone with not a single friend for a long period of time, but none of this has even broken me.
Yes, I fall, only to get up.
And right now what I need to do is to believe in myself.
I only wish I could.

Today

Mining

Do you have any idea how hard it is farming for copper ore?
DO YOU???

I've been all around Tyria - from Rata Sum to Queensdale to the Black Citadel hunting for copper.
Why? I need to level up my jewel crafting.
But right when I find the spot and start mining - pop - a giant jungle mosquito appears and starts attacking me. And then calls its friends. And it's not that I can't beat them - I can - but the thing is: they're disgusting. I can't even bare to look at the screen...because of my fear of insects.
So I die and then have to get to a waypoint a million miles away and I lose the mining spot. And then I have to walk for at least 15 minutes until I find another one, insect free.
The only insects I'm not bothered encountering are spiders - even giant ones. I'm not that scared of them (in RL I'd would be though) and I have no problem killing. I'm used to them anyway from games like Dragon Age and Skyrim.

The good news is that I'm 1 level before level 20!!! Woot woot! I've got 60 levels remaining 'till I max out my character.
And crafting helps a lot at leveling up.
So I'm back home to Kryta and more specifically, Queensdale (I'm currently playing a human warrior) that has no mosquitoes, dragonflies, etc. whatsoever.
Queensdale doesn't have as much copper mining spots as Metrica Province but at least I won't be in constant fear of bugs.